Dream of the Month (April 2010)
- Title: Something Personal Was Given Away
- Date of the Dream: 2010 (mailed Thursday, 25 March 2010)
- Dream: I came home to find that my sister and my former manager had given away the bedroom fireplace in my new home. I particularly love this fireplace, and it is irreplaceable. It is a big, old, authentic fireplace that you can't find anymore, except in older homes. I was upset with my sister and Joe (my former boss), but they seemed nonchalant about my feelings, totally discounting how upset I was. Then I realized my bedroom dresser was also missing! It contained all my favorite clothes, as well as some beautiful lingerie and designer clothes I had purchased from my trips to England, Germany and San Diego. I cannot go to these places anymore, so these items, too, are irreplaceable. I was crying and trying to get across to them the depth of my loss, but they seemed incapable of understanding.
- Significant life event: I just bought an old house that I love. My boyfriend wants to move in with me. If he does, I will lose my alimony, a very significant amount of my income. He loves the era of the house and is very handy, lovingly fixing it up with me. I love him, but he has made it clear he will never get married. He has issues with intimacy. He won't have sex with me but is very affectionate and gives me everything else emotionally a girl could ask for (we're both around 50). I have a lot to lose financially if I let him live with me and he offers me no security to replace it. I am also involved in a project at work that is monopolizing all of my time. I feel like I've lost my life to this project and it's going to go on for a year. My boss really appreciates me and rewards me financially, she is working just as hard.
- Personal concerns/issues: My boyfriend is taking away the last bit of self esteem I have in regards to my sexuality. We have everything else in a relationship that I treasure. He is my best friend, hugs me and kisses me, we share everything with each other and he puts me first before everything. We are very compatible. His issue with intimacy is deep from his childhood so I let it go but it's doing a number on me.
- Associations: My job and my relationship are taking something very personal that can't be replaced.
- Category: None Apply
- Pen Name: Cara
Dr. Holloway's Comments:
Striking Characteristics: When we lose a cherished item in a dream, this is a warning about the potential for serious loss in waking life – although often of the emotional, rather than the material kind.
This is a dream of soul loss. We wound ourselves, and lose aspects of life that bring us perfect joy, when we listen only to the wavelength of “reasonable arguments” and disregard our passions; when we try, in the name of being sensible, to make choices against our nature and the heartbeat of our truth. Fireplaces are sacred symbols of passion, aliveness and zest for life. These are not things one would want to lose! Nor would one want to lose the attire of adventure, intimacy and expansive choices. This dreamer’s psyche is crying out for her to be careful with the choices she is making and to preserve the aspects of herself and her life that she most cherishes. When dreams include characters that refuse to acknowledge our truth, it is because we ourselves are discounting our deep truths, genuine needs, and personal passions. The despair of loss in the dream is meant to wake us up in life. This dream says: Be true to yourself – and don’t engage in what seems to be compromise, but is actually irreparable loss. This is a time to fight for your own wholeness and to be confident in what you already know, down deep, to be true.