Dream of the Month (November 2005)
- Title: Transition
- Date of the Dream: 10/4/2005 (mailed Tuesday, 4 October 2005)
- Dream: I am returning to a college after a summer vacation. I have a room with my "boyfriend" (a man named Paul, whom I did date while in college in real life). In the dream, he is in charge of running the school. I find myself repulsed by him. I walk up to him and say, "Paul, this isn't working out, and I think we need to go our separate ways." He agrees, amiably, and I walk away. I walk back into our apartment and wonder what it's going to be like living with this man whom I hate, and am mad at myself for moving in with someone I'm only dating.
Then another man, Chris, (a man I was engaged to many years after Paul in real life) runs up into the apartment and gives me a very delicate contact lens as a gift. I know that it has very detailed images on it and he has gone through a lot of trouble to make it for me. I ask why he came, and he says something like, "You're available for me to SEE!" The word "See" sticks out, as if the lens was made so that I would be able to "see" something.
- Significant life event: My husband and I are discussing whether to have children. I want to have one or two, and he doesn't want to have any. He is deployed and we're going through these discussions over the phone, and it's just horrible.
- Personal concerns/issues: I am plagued with thoughts of whether I made a mistake in my marriage. When we got married, we were both undecided about children, although he knew I was leaning towards and I knew he was leaning against. I am trying to prepare myself for the possibility that I will give up children in order for my marriage to be healthy.
- Associations: The appearance of old boyfriends suggests that I might be exploring the healthy and unhealthy relationships in my past in order to "see" something about the issues I'm facing. I was able to cleanly say goodbye to someone I knew was "bad," and someone with whom I had a good relationship was trying to help me see something...to look at the world through a different lens. I wish I had put the lens on in the dream, but I played with it between my fingers for a long time. The other lens is possibly me looking at the issue of children (or something else?) from my husbands perspective, which I've been struggling to do.
- Category: None Apply
- Pen Name: Robyn
Dr. Holloway's Comments:
Striking Characteristics: When we return to school in our dreams, it sometimes denotes a period of important lessons in waking life.
Dreams of being inadvertently hooked up with ill-chosen partners are important to review, since they may be markers of deep dissatisfaction with a current situation. The factors that make the dream partnership wrong may reflect of what is “off” in the real life situation. Here, the wrong person is in charge of the place of learning; suggesting that some potential is being contained. Also there is unwanted proximity with the wrong person, which may imply an unfulfilling arrangement. Third, the dreamer is kicking herself for entering into a serious arrangement with someone she was seeing casually. This suggests a time to be leery of making a permanent decision with some casual notion; don’t bind yourself to a “contract” until you’ve reviewed it with your heart. Finally, the dream suggests taking a close look at things, from a different perspective. Take a painstaking look at your inner life, dreams, and plans before getting on board with that practical status quo.