Dream of the Month (July 2000)
- Title: I Murdered A Whopper With Cheese
- Date of the Dream: 6/21/2000 (mailed Thursday, 22 June 2000)
- Dream: I murdered an unknown person. Although I don't remember doing the killing, I am overwhelmed by the task of getting rid of the body and avoiding detection! Because in real life my career is law enforcement, in the dream I am deeply ashamed and frightened by the prospect of having committed a homicide. The fear of facing disgust and being ostracized from my professional community is tremendous; it's like I'm facing total ex-communication from an important part of my life. (I should note for the record that I am currently out of the workforce, voluntarily, and have been a full time stay-at-home Mom for the past two and a half years).
Anyhow, I'm trying to dispose of this body, but first I am compelled to disfigure the face with a large hunting knife. I stab the eyes carefully, making the shape of a cross with the blade deep into the sockets. Suddenly the head disconnects from the body. As I am frantically trying to get the head into a bag for disposal, it morphs into a Whopper with cheese lying on a foil and paper wrapper!
Throughout the dream I feel terror of imminent discovery; people seem to be walking through the crime scene, but they don't notice what I'm doing. While still dreaming I have some sense of telling myself that I know I am dreaming and that this is not really happening.
- Significant life event: First, after 18+ years of struggling with my weight, I have successfully been losing weight since February. It's been a complete lifestyle change, not to mention a major attitude change. This has been a huge thing for me. I have never had personal success on this level before-it's very meaningful to me. Secondly, we just moved back into our home after trekking to Omaha, NE, for a job opportunity for my husband. The job in Omaha turned out to be a dud, but he quickly found an even better position back in our town of origin (Denver, CO). Nonetheless, although the Omaha job led us to the great job he has now, three full house moves (from Colorado to Nebraska, back to Colorado from Nebraska, and then a move from our rented apartment back into our home after our tenants' lease ran out) in just 13 months has been very stressful. On the other hand, moving back into our *home* has been a positive thing.
- Personal concerns/issues: My three year old daughter appears to have some problems that need to be assessed through our local Children's Hospital. They may likely be significant issues. My weight loss regime is also a major factor in my life right now.
- Associations: Well, I assume the hamburger image has to do with my food issues. I have given up an unhealthy eating style, but sometimes I slide a little and eat too much of something. I think I'm still struggling with this-maybe the body represents the old me. I'm trying so hard to get rid of the old me (which I had a lot of shame over), but it's hard to get the old me completely "thrown away." Sometimes I fear that I will not succeed, even though the indication is that I *will* be successful in my endeavor. Perhaps the part about worrying that I will never be able to work in my profession again stems from the worry that I am out of the loop (even though it's by choice) and that I am losing that part of me. These are my thoughts presently.
- Categories: Provided Realization and Nightmare
- Pen Name: JH
Dr. Holloway's Comments:
Striking Characteristics: Corpses typically represent aspects of the past, while violence symbolizes an orientation or behavior that is painful to the emotions.
This variation on the classic theme of disposing of a body reveals several levels of tension. Essentially this theme deals with the unconscious sacrifice of some aspect of the self. This is why dreamers never remember “killing” the person, and although they are horrified by what's happened, their energy is focused on concealing the crime and trying to avoid discovery (letting it remain unconscious). Although these grisly dreams are disturbing, they simply indicate that it is time to acknowledge that you have tried to “kill off” some corner of life that seemed to be a threat to your over-riding agenda. In time the psyche's balancing mechanism reminds us that we may have done this so efficiently that we are now “haunted” by the energy we tried to bury in the back yard. The remedy for this imbalance is to permit those disenfranchised aspects of the self to find other outlets for expression that will be a better match with current goals. (Change the form and keep the essence.)
In dreams eyes represent not only vision, but personal identity as well. Disguising the abandoned self by “crossing” the eyes in this fashion suggests that a certain amount of self-condemnation, even martyrdom, has occurred which the inner self has found excessive and violating. The riddle this dream poses is, how can you continue self-empowerment and enhanced health without condemning the feelings that seemed to work against those goals in the past? By allowing all sides of yourself to live and breathe, even if you choose to change behaviors or careers as it suits you.